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Thursday, July 31st, 2003
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12:59 am - look at me
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woohoo im updating my journal. i figured it was about time. mostly becuz im listening to justin timberlake... i rock my own world... hm so i move in like 16 days. thats pretty damn scary. and exciting.. more scary though. i keep crying about stupid shit. im not really scared of making new friends. ive never really had a problem doing that befor. im just scared of like having to do all the work of making like relationships again. ive had the same group of good girl friends forever. and i dont have to talk to them, they just know whats wrong and when im sad. and they all know like what ive been through and what makes me.. me. i dont have to explain myself to them. they know my stupid quirks.. they know what bugs me. they know how to fix things...and i dont think im prepared to do all that shit again. and ive never been a person that was like into having superficial party friends. like even my party friends like know me as well as they can for how long theyve known me. and i wouldnt even call them friends. anyways im rambling and not making sence. i just feel like im out of time. like theres not enough time to fix every thing, to see everyone and to do everything i want to 16 days. it seems like summer started yesterday. look at me being all dramatic. oh well im going to miss everyone. anyone that wants to party it up corpus style should come see me... alot... im going to miss little people. blahhhhh i like puppies
current mood: cold
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| Sunday, May 18th, 2003
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11:18 pm
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Right now the world just seems too big so sit down and remind me how this is the same old story of growing up and getting lost. And outside I can see my breath in between the words that fog my spinning head and I can see the sun coming up. And it's just light enough to see Another cigarette that I just lit as I pass the 53rd St. bridge right now the world just seems to big And all the late night calls and all the lost hopes and the missed connections and the lost direction.
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3:25 pm - where the F is my skirt
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ariane is here we ate some food, she is going to the peepee room now... i got a new screen name cuz i forgot my old password to my cherryjade67 one.. yes ive had that for like 3 years and no i dont know what the password is...anywho.. anyone who would like to know it... it is... cherryjade13 yeah im origonal i know. anywho ariane is still in the pooproom oh goodness im sick with some kind of cold of sorts, on tuesday night at 730 me and ari are having a study party at jims. be there or dieeeee i love you all woopwoopp
16 days till freedom
current mood: curious
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| Sunday, May 11th, 2003
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9:16 pm - thats my girl the drunkest at the party, she lost her shoe and found the rum bacardi
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hm i just got a we are sad at you speech from my daddy. it was sad i like him.. alot.. oh well. oh well, soo tommorrow is school that should be fun. i spit water on ariane, it was one of the best moments ive had in a long time. that sounds stupid. but it was just one of those moments when time stops. and all the bull shit that is happeneing is gone. and all you can think about is how incredably happy and funny that moment is.. it was nice aw well. good night at kims hung with sil and her for WAY too long on the porch. i love those girls.... ari left early to spend time with her momma... i like your mom and its no fad i want to marry her and be your dad. i like your mom i like your mom... aww good song.. bye guys kisses
current mood: artistic
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| Saturday, May 10th, 2003
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11:16 pm - flowers are pretty befor they get shitty and rot and turn to dust
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yournamehere, why do you do this shit please just stop playing these damn games and turning out just to be like everyone else. why do you drive me so fucking crazy, why do you act how i know you dont feel. please stop pullin this shit on me.. i know your better than that and i know you better than that i know that somewhere under all of what someone else fucked up your still you. i know i cant save you from that but you can save me? please. i know someday youll look back on this and relize that i cant just be some little girl you fuck over, becuz you dont even know what your doing. why are you so manic in your feelings one day and the next day so indifferent. whats changing, cuz i know its not me. please dont let someone else fucking you over make you fuck me over... fuck you for being like that fuck you for pretending... fuck you for knowing what your doing is tearing me up inside and doing it anyway.. but i know it hurts you too. im not stupid i made up the game your playing... what a waste though. all the stupid bull shit time i wasted on your dumb ass... getting in trouble for being home late.. not sleeping. why the fuck would i lose sleep to talk to you.. i thought you were so differnt. so perfect... and your just a little fucker like all those " stupid boys i need to stop wasting my time on" why would you make me think im better than that and turn out to be just like those boys you so selfrightously put down. what a waste of blowing off my friends for you.. of not going into work for you. and what a fucking waste of emotion... in short i hate you for being like that and for not saving me and for ruining what could of been a very beautiful thing... and i hate you for making me doubt myself and for making me think you were differnt... fuck you for wasting my time.
*kris*
************************************************************* in other news im in some made trouble on the home front.. turns out we seemed to have left a bottle cap lying around after my small gathering on friday.. leaving me in a tad of trouble... aw well. it was good times..aww well..good times were had by all...sil, unlike our last shindig,,, didnt pass out after 10 minutes of drinking... good job sil! and i apoligize to anyone i may have called and spoken gibberish to or umm jumped on ( sorry meow) i LOVE hunters new girlfriend, pam, shes a blast and a half turns out aris new boy toy isnt the poopface i once thought and i am actually quite found of the lad... good job on that one maryann... note to self dont power down two tacos after a night of drinking tacos+ vodka= puking 9 times hah oh well,, i hope everyone had a pleasent evening... in the future one to two weeks i may be grounded so all of you must visit me and bring me starburst.. i love you all and goodnight
current mood: bitchy
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| Tuesday, April 29th, 2003
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9:33 pm - look in ariane
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im a fake ariane--- everyone answer this--- itll be fun! 1. when and how did we meet: 2. have you ever seen me with my shirt off: 3. have you ever seen me cry: 4. describe me in four adjectives: 5. if we could spend a day together what would we do: 6. have we ever gotten in a fight: 7. if you could give me a present what would it be: 8. would you hug me: 9. what do you really think of me: 10. have we ever kissed: 11. has there ever been anything you wanted to tell me, but were scared to: 12. wanna makeout: 13. name one thing you dont like about me:
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| Monday, April 28th, 2003
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9:07 pm - weee
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wow im really proud of me for updating, i dont know if anyone else is but i am. i decided to update becuz im a little upset about some things. i wrote myself a letter, like a big nerd. i just need to get my shit together. i decided to stop being wierd and sad becuz i only have 4 months left with you people not even. like 3 and half, and that SCARES ME TO DEATH! i mean im super excited about the change and new people and everything but its still really scary to start over. i mean ive been friends with ari for like 6 years. and sil shannon and caitlin for almost 5 and kim for like 3, its scary to think of leaving these people who i see and talk to everyday. and even people who im not close friends with who im gonna miss, people i just hung out with on weekends or just saw everyone now and then, im just scared. im scared of being alone. i have a very rare and odd illness i like to refer to as aloneaphobia. i dont know and not even being alone just changing and living some where new and saying goodbye. ariane was saying how hard it was to see her friend leave. one friend, most of my friends are going to miss me or me and one other person, but i have to leave all of them, that freaks me out, and im gonna miss my mom and dad. but mostly ill miss my kitty. hehe, okay im gonna stop my bitchin. thanks for taking the time to read this if you got this far, :)
current mood: anxious
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| Monday, December 9th, 2002
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9:33 pm - this made me smile
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CherryJade67: kristin=? BeerJudge17: fantasic BeerJudge17: funny BeerJudge17: smart BeerJudge17: beautiful BeerJudge17: blonde BeerJudge17: kitty
yeah im a freak. but for some reason that made me smile.. lala school is fun. everyones fun.. fun is fun. i dont like to write in this thing. it freaks me out.. everyone who reads this should comment so i feel special and continue to update my journal.. i had an intresting week yeah!!!
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| Thursday, November 14th, 2002
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9:34 pm - flowers are pretty
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hm today was kinda a sad day. i went to shannons grandmaws funeral. and it was really sad to see shannon and the parkers so sad..:( i love shannon and i miss seeing her like i used to... i hope shes okay in other news today i um hung out with kim...silvia said my days are kinda predictable... thats not really true.. yes it is i also hung out with my cousin and filled her in on the latest drama of the world.. what can ya do tommorrow night me kim and sil are goin downtown and having a little fun. hopefully we can park closer this time... that should be super fun. ah well i suppose thats all thats happpening right now.
current mood: nauseated
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| Monday, November 11th, 2002
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9:45 pm - twinkle twinkle
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hm today was all full of relaxin... i woke up around 1.. refreshed. and ate some breakfast, i went to kims and watched the nanny... chilled with her for a bit came home and went to work.. it was neat... the weekend was eventful and full of drama as usual... sarah came down and its also super fun and dramay when that girls in town! i wuv sarah...hmm this week should be fun... me and sil have to get our lazy asses back to the gym after the weekend off...want another reeces blast sil? the weekend should be intresting... kim seems to be brewin up a plan of some sort... good times...alright thought id do my monthly update.. and now im out
current mood: happy
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| Monday, October 7th, 2002
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2:03 pm
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| Sunday, September 29th, 2002
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1:27 am - yonk!
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Spell your first name back wards]: nitsirk [The story behind your LJ/DJ user name]: it came from my sn.. cherry is kims car. jade is my car. 67 is my favorite number silvias car was the space between, and is now the semi colon after [Are you a lesbian?]: hah no [How old?]: 17 [Where do you live?]: in a house . [4 words that sum you up]: sarcastic, crazy, nice( occasionaly), fantastic
DESCRIBE YOUR- [Wallet]: i dont really have on, i have a planner thing that has all my stuff in it [Hairbrush]: i have lots [Toothbrush]: um teal and full of bristles [Jewelry worn daily)star necklace [Pillow cover]: black and leopard [Blanket]: leopard [Coffee cup]: starbucks cup [Sunglasses]: black ones with cute little sparkles on the side i found in my car [Underwear]: i have many a- pair.. um my favorites have little stars on them [Shoes]: flip flops, umm black mary janeish shoes, um cons sometimes [Handbag]: um right now i have a brown and colored one, arianes leopard one sometimes [Favorite top]: black long sleved v neck shirts i have like 12 that i wear far to much [Favorite pants]: tilt jeans and purple cords [Cologne/Perfume]: vanilla lace and love spell [CD in stereo right now]: in car-antiflag underground network in house- umm dashboard i think[Tattoos]: nada [Piercings]: 5- three in one ear two in the other, i never ever wear earings thorugh[What you are wearing now]: um joe boxer smiley boxers with hula stuff and a tank top [Hair]: um blong and to my sholdersish [Makeup]: i really like mascara.. and fake eyelashes * eh eh*
WHO or WHAT (was/is/are) - [In my mouth]:the normal stuff thats in my mouth i guess [In my head]: dramamamamamma [Wishing]: i had eatin dinner [After this]: clean or sleep [Talking to]: umm allan and thats the only person on my buddy list right now [Eating:]: nuthin [Fetishes]: black hair, someother stuff i suppose that should be kept from the minds of all you kids [If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason?]: i couldnt [Person you wish you could see right now]: sarah, umm my grandmaw old friends [Is next to you]: a futon [Some of your favorite movies]: almost famous girl interupted* although it compared in no way to the book* fight club requiem for a dream, [Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: christmas [The last thing you ate?]: allans french fry at jims[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: dark
ETC ... [Do you like candles]: vanilla ones [Do you like hot wax]: indeed i do [Do you like incense]: some of it [Do you like the taste of blood]: on occasion [Do you believe in love]: i belive in infatuation[Do you believe in soul mates]: hah i guess [Do you believe in love at first sight]: i belive in lust at first sight and infatuation at first sight [Do you believe in Heaven]: yes [Do you believe in forgiveness]: yes. haha [Do you believe in God]: yes [What do you want done with your body when you die]: um i dont really care [Who is your worst enemy?]: bad people! [If you could have any animal for a pet]: white tiger [What is the latest you've ever stayed up]: hah i dotn know [Ever been to Belgium?]: nah [Can you eat with chopsticks]: i can pretend [What's your favorite coin?]: the sacajawiahasdkfj dollar [What are 5 places you wouldn't mind relocating to?]: cali, austin, new york, boston, under arianes bed [What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: starburst [What's something that you wish people would understand?]: that everything that happens isnt that important or the end of the world [What's something you wish you could understand better?]: my friends [Anyone you miss that you haven't seen in a long time?]: sarah:( [What's one thing you want to make happen for tomorrow?]: i want to see mike befor he leaves
Personal Info Name: Ariane Nickname: kris,kitty, umm sugar * only to ariane and sarah* Age: 17 Sex: female Location: San Antonio, TX School: reagan Grade: senior Hair color: blond Eye color: green Complection: hah i dont know Height: 5’7 Lips: i have lips they are um too big i think Freckles or None: indeed
Opinions Girls or Boys: both are nice sometimes Sport: sleeping Makeup you wear: eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, lip stuff Style: why you gotta waste my flava damn Brand: hmm i dunno Color: leopard Drugs: are bad for ya! Thongs: good for wearing with stuff that shows lines Bra's: are nice i guess Socks: make your feet not stinky Stuffed Animals: giant leopard squirtal Singing: hah i suck, but i like to Song: quite few Rapper: Ludacris...best memories right there Country singer: dixie chiks Alternative Band: umm i dont know
On guys for GIRLS Eye color: blue Muscle or Skinny: skinny 6 pac: neh Highlights: ha if you like boys Tan or Pale: i dont know Freckles or no: dont care Pimp or Nerd: shhheeetttt pimp Butt: everyone has one i suppose Popular or not: i liked that show Tall or short: tallll Party or Romance: i guess a little of both could be good Sweetheart or Punk: haha what a funny question, what if hes a sweet punk... damn Boxers or Briefs: boxers Big, Little or Medium: hahahah
Best Friends Girls: ariane kim sil lori caitlin super shan man sarah Boys: hhmmmmm Chillen buds: hah a quite a few differnt ones Party'n click: hah Most trusted: i trust no one Least trusted: hah Inside jokes: haha a lot
Stuff to do Movies or Beach: beach Party or chill: both School or home: kims porch Softball or Basketball: neither Dance or Sing: hah cant we have both? Tv or Computer: mmmmsleepmmm
current mood: weird
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, September 10th, 2002
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2:21 pm - sad
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tommorrow is kinda a scary day. and i dont know. i just keep thinking about stuff. prez bush just raised the homeland terror alert to high, thats pretty scary. i dont know, what if something happens, and i never had a chance to tell you that i loved you, or that im sorry i was a bitch to you, or tell you something that relaly means alot to me. what if we all die and we all never lived. never fell in love never moved to california, never saw that band play, never took the time to see our familys, never took the time to be a good friend to you... its sad to think that all these thoughts only occur when somethings wrong, im not saying we should all go fly our flags and oppress people who dont have our belifes. but i just need to think about stuff befor i do it.. what is really important to me.. why is stuff like this, i dont know stuff like this just makes me think... idunno everyone that reads this be super careful tommorrow, and tell people that you love, that you love them. cuz what if you dont have another chance to?
current mood: sad
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| Sunday, September 8th, 2002
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8:48 am - bitch bitch bitch thats all you ever do bitch bitch bitch
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do do do, why the crapola am i awake at this oddly early house? we all wonder the same thing, meh doesn matter, last night i thought all night, and i really think its time that i make some changes in the ol life. i dont know im sick of all the drama, im sick of people making things that dont matter into huge ordeals,im tiered of worrying constintly about if what im doin is hurting someone, or if they arent happy, or blah blah blah, i dont know. i dont see why everything is such a big deal these days? there has been so much drama latly and im sick of it, everything is not a life altering decision, some stuff just happens, cuz its fun, or cuz its funny, or because were all younge. A good friend of mine once told me that everything happens for a reason, you shoulndt question it, you should just learn from it. im not proud of everything ive done, im not proud that ive hurt the people ive hurt, but serisouly its hard to please everyone all the time, and sometimse its just easier to be selfish.. and that sounds awful, but im just so sick of it. i just need to get away, to stop doing the same things over and over, cuz everyone being all stressed about something that was really no ones business but ours and wasnt a huge deal, just kinda happened, is really stressing me out.
* this is in no way directed at you fluff, im just venting*
current mood: stressed
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| Tuesday, September 3rd, 2002
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9:35 pm
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hey okay this is kind of a weird thing to do.. but jois friend was in the line at the grocery store today and the guy infont of her was muslim and he didnt have enough money for his food and she paid for it, and he said you helped me out so im gonna help you out.. dont drink any soda for all of september i cant tell you why.. jsut dont do it...so guys just to be on the safe side watch what you do this month.. not only in the soda drinking aspect but just in general.. this is a supier sad month and i dont want anything to happen to my friends so yall just be careful and know that i love you...
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| Monday, September 2nd, 2002
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10:45 pm
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yawwnnn.. i just wanted to see my new mood kitty...
current mood: nerdy
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| Sunday, September 1st, 2002
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12:13 am - wax on wax off
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hmm today was a good day... um but yesterday was a GOOD day.... so the girls all headed down to canyon.. only to find to our dissapointment and disgust that it was closed... we found out by a man with REALLY bad teeth... really really bad..anywho so we call info.. to get a number for medina.. only to have them just connect me to a random house in medina.. it was very wierd.. regardless.. we end up at the guadalupe river.. which was fun and then a lot of people camme.. and some creepy coppers.. so we headed home to kims for a day of swimming, chatting and tossing back a few cold ones haha... yeah then we took a nice long nap..." did ya fall asleep or did ya pass out" anywho then we headed downtown for a little night life action...hmm we went to the haunted house thing.. which was a blast,, and then to the river walk... it took us forever to walk down there after parking in hell... then we met the nice boys at ripleys .. they were nice and creepy.. and then some Navy boys at ecard who were lookin to get some ass... and then some punk boys who were very rude and stupid.. anyways then we hiked to the car only to find that we had lost it...it was intresting.. then we came back to kims... and slept... today was odd.... i went to san marcos with el madre y la tia and shopped.., then to arianes. the mall,,, to buy candy for conrad.. to conrads to some supposed party at the stupid SPOT that i dont think existed.. and then back to conrads... all and all a pretty good weekend tommorrow i have to work and to go to a show... rock n roll
current mood: giggly
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| Wednesday, August 28th, 2002
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10:33 pm - the girls are back in town
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today was a blast and a half... me and sarah and kim and sil went to the mall for a full fledged girls day out.. i really with ariane could have been there but she had school... it doesnt matter we did have a godo time,, it was kinda liek the ol days.. hanging out with sarah and what not...i miss her being around so much... she seriously like completes our group and when shes not around theres like a odd hole in us.. it makes me sad to think about.. but no worries shes here for a visit and thats all that matters.. on friday kim, sarah, ariane, silvia and i are going to the lake for a day of sun and being girls! weee its gonna be a blast... cant wait
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| Saturday, August 24th, 2002
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2:29 pm - damn it feels good to be a gangsta
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hmm so today is odd... i woke up and i dont know what kind of dreams i had last night but for some reason i was just in the mood to be in love... its odd cuz thats not very me like.. or maybe it is and i just cant find anyone that i actually do love or could love... or even want to be around... meh im so confused... savee mmeee
current mood: frustrated
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| Wednesday, August 21st, 2002
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3:38 pm - no matter how well you think you know yourself
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stuff is odd.. school is funny, and short... i like my teachers... ive met a few new kids... i dont know its all just like a movie... my whole existance is one giant movie script its so wierd.. and sometimes, latly i feel like one of the people i cant control. like someone your just watching what they do, and no matter how hard you try to make them do what you want, they just dont... only i cant make me do what i need to do, what i should do... its like im not me anymore like im living some big fake story and i cant seem to get out of it and get back to me... dont get me wrong im happy, but its just so wierd to think you know yourself, and then something happens and you begin to doubt your very existance... several times today i thought i was dreaming, i keep seeing weird things or seeing things weird and im just like,,, i cant be awake, why am i thinking olike this... eck i feel a tad crazy:
"Doll had learned something during the past six months of his life. Chiefly what he had learned was that everybody lived by a selected fiction. Nobody was really what he pretended to be. It was as if everybody made up a fiction story about himself, and then he just pretended to everybody that that was what he was. And everybody believed himm, or at least accepted his fiction story. Doll did not know if everybody learned this about life when they reached a certain age, but he suspected that htey did. They just didn't tell it to anybody. And rightly so. Obviously, if they told anybody, then their own fiction story about themselves wouldn't be true eitehr. So everybody had to learn it for himself. And then, of course, pretend he hadn't learned it."
current mood: crazy
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